My dear, sweet husband and I had our monthly relationship inventory last night. Now before I get too into this I just need to preface this with the fact that I love and appreciate Michael more then I can express but there are times that I would LOVE to ring his neck!
Okay, moving on to the story at the end of our little inventory we ask each other what we could be doing better to help each other. Mike hesitated a little and then announced that if I could at least make his breakfast or get his lunch ready that would be great. (One of my concerns that I brought up during this inventory was the fact of my feeling overwhelmed with everything..... I don't get how he forgot this so soon; perhaps another post another day!)So how did I answer?...... "Ummmm NO, you're a big boy do it yourself!" Right after I get home from running in the morning I get McKenna up and ready for school. It certainly is a busy time so for him to ask that of me blew me away and I honestly laughed, and laughed about it. He was shocked at my response and then did the unthinkable! He said he thought that to be a "traditional" wife I would do these few duties. I asked him how many "traditional" wives he knew about and he came back with "most" wives he knew did in fact make their hubbies breakfast and packed their lunch. I continued to press him about who these "most" women were and he finally just admitted that in fact the one example that he had was his MOM........... Note to Michael do not EVER compare wife to MOM it will not be a pretty sight! Of course we kissed and made up and all is well now. But now I really want to prove to my dear, sweet husband that I am RIGHT!
So I am asking you my fellow bloggers if you are or have "traditional" wives and what makes you think they are/not? Please share! I can hardly wait to read your responses to know if I am in fact the only wife that does not cook breakfast, pack lunches, and iron shirts all of the time and still considers herself very traditional!
35 comments:
Since I don't get out of bed until 8:30 or 9, Adlei has to make his own breakfast! ;) I make lunch for him IF he comes home for lunch. I hate ironing! And oh yeah, I only have one child :)
Yesterday was the first time I have ironed one of Randy's shirts in a very LONG time and it was only because it was too wrinkly for Downy Wrinkle-release. :)
He works at home and I rarely make him breakfast. He usually makes it for us.
I don't make breakfast for Grant, he gets up 15 min before work, gets dressed then I drag my butt out of bed to make his lunch. (Don't worry, I've been compared to his mom too.) I don't iron either. I don't even own an ironing board.
Love Ya Mike, but...I rarely make Justin breakfast-even on weekends, he's the one that makes it. I tried making his lunch a couple times, but he usually does it. Ironing shirts has never happened for me since we got married over SEVEN years ago. I don't even know how to iron his shirts, so I tell him that he has to do it if he wants it done. With that said, I am assuming I'm a traditional wife :o)
For clarification. I believe in being completely honest in inventories. That said, I merely requested the first thing to pop into my mind. I did remember my wonderful wives plea of being overwhelmed. We had already discussed many ways to decrease her feelings of being overworked and underpayed. We also discussed after the fact that the traditional wife of my mom's era and now are two different things. I don't think that is a bad thing and am more than happy to do my own share. When I wake up in the morning I hate having to think of what to make. If I am late it is even worse. I would love it if my wife would make me breakfast or a lunch. If she doesn't I won't love her any less. I do my own ironing and did not ask her to do that, because I know she does not like it. I did not know she would react so negatively to the suggestion of hooking a brother up. She is a great cook and I thought it was a something that would make her feel even more like a homemaker. I was wrong and I apologize. I guess I am the selfish one because when I asked her what I could do for her she had no suggestions. Tiffany says I am taking to long and she wants to read this. I salute all of you mothers who work so diligently to raise your families. I will be the first to admit that I have the easy job. Thank you to all women for what you do day in and out.
THE TERRIBLE MAN
TOO funny!!! Once in a while I make Court breakfast, but for the most part he is on his own, mornings are CRAZY! I used to make his lunch but gave up when they would make a round trip back to our house after work!lol The one thing I do is iron his shirts. He would NEVER take the time to iron and I HATE wrinkles!! I am as traditional as it gets!
TOO funny!!! Once in a while I make Court breakfast, but for the most part he is on his own, mornings are CRAZY! I used to make his lunch but gave up when they would make a round trip back to our house after work!lol The one thing I do is iron his shirts. He would NEVER take the time to iron and I HATE wrinkles!! I am as traditional as it gets!
Thanks babe, two areas I would like to bring up
1. You are far from terrible!
2. I in NO way need/desire to feel more like a homemaker. I have that pretty much down :)
Love you xoxoxo
This is Courtney- Mike I don't think it is too much to ask. All she needs to do is simply take two pieces of bread Mayo one side of one throw a piece of cheese and lunch meat and throw it in a plastic baggie. Also grab a handful of chips put them in a plastic baggie and throw them both in a brown bag. Cheap, simple, and traditional. It's not hard and doesn't take her long. She doesn't realize that certain morning rituals take a guy a little more time. Then we have to shower and shave. As for breakfast, a quiche or omlette (no matter how I spell it, it looks wrong) will only take a good traditional wife a few measely minutes. More power to ya mike and don't let a sister hold a brother down
I think you staying home with your kids is even more un-traditional than most, Tiff. Everything else is frosting.
I hate to pack my own lunch and I can't think of what to do for breakfast either. That's why I DO IT THE NIGHT BEFORE. Then it's all set and ready.
It sounds like I need to get me a wife so I can ask someone to do this for me...and make my dinner and do my laundry and clean my house and pay bills, and do shopping, and ....
Go tiff!
You two crack me up!! I have been married for almost 28 years and mind you one of Raf's love languages (for those of you who know what that is) is service. In spite of that, I must have the most patient hubby ever because I don't cook breakfast or pack his lunch and he kisses me goodbye while I am still asleep. My idea of ironing his shirt is spraying it with water and tossing it back in the dryer! To all of you who know what a classy person I am I'm sure this will come as a huge shock! :-) I am just glad Raf loves me in spite of me, which I know Mike does too. You are both great and I am just impressed you have "relationship inventory"!! Love you guys! Marinann
Well..so Sam and I are laughing so hard after reading Tiffany's notes and then Mike's response we can hardly control ourselves. So well...we have to agree with Mike a little....I (marcy) get up at 4:30 every morning and make Sam his lunch and a small breakfast....Believe me there are days that hiss lunch isn't real grand but I still do it. About the ironing...a little water and in the dryer it goes....And mike Tiff is right never compare your wife to your mother. Luv you guys....Thanks for the laugh!
I must not be traditional at all! Jed not only makes his own breakfast and lunch, if he's home he makes the kids too,and lets me sleep in. And he irons his pilot shirts and all of the clothes that I need ironed too :D
First, Mike has to be respected that he would bring that up because most husbands would just take it as it is and not ever say a word. Good on ya mate for that one. Second, I hope it didn't go down as harshley as Tiff makes it sound! OUCH!! I know that I am not the expert on "traditional" but someone has got to stick up for the men and recognize what we do. The post was funny and I know that I will probably get hate mail and death threats for this but we work hard too! We all know that the wives stay home with the kids and keep the house and in some cases work on top of that, but are there any wives that can stop their gripping and recognize that a marriage is a two way road and that is why I respect Mike and Tiff for having a companionship inventory. Good for you both. What is so wrong with wanting those things done once in a while anyway. I would wager that Mike makes breakfast and lunch for the family on occassion and that he is very capable of ironing his shirt or throwing it in the drier like I was raised to do. But it is a wonderful treat every now and then. Husbands, we can also do a little better job of recognizing and appreciating our wives and what they do for us. They really do a lot and I know that if I were honest I could not handle what my wife does half as well as she does; but if we are honest with each other I don't think that the wives would want to switch places with us either. Long comment I know but it is my first on a doosey of a post. I will end now to go partake of the waffles that my wife just made for me this morning (she really did!!).
I hesitated on how I would comment on this post, but since my hubby just threw me under the bus with the waffle comment, I must respond. Luv ya hon! (Let the record show that the waffles I made this morning were leftovers from dinner last night. Not a real "traditional" thing to have for dinner, huh?) I don't make Landon breakfast or lunch on a regular basis and sometimes that makes me feel guilty. I do feel like a "better" wife if I pack his lunch or make him leftover waffles for breakfast. Whether that is a good thing or not, I'm not sure. Of course, I'm not on the PTA and in the RS presidency and have 2 kids in school like you do either. I think my life is a little slower than yours right now. As far as the ironing, I'm with Jami. Wrinkles drive me nuts. I iron my 3 year old son's shirts. I'd give Landon a complex if I didn't iron his too! It bothers me more than him to see him in a wrinkly shirt! :)
For the record, the leftover waffles that we had for breakfast this morning were made by me for Sunday breakfast.
Thanks honey! I think we're ready for our first companionship inventory right now!!!
Let us know how your inventory goes ;)
HILARIOUS! I love most of all that Mike got on here and rebutted Tiffany's post. A man's got to defend himself. So I do not make MY Mike breakfast (so people reading this know we're not polygamists ;P) I do on some Satudays, and Sundays, but hardly even during the week. I drag myself out of bed after Mike leaves for work, and that some days only because the kids are crawling all over me and I can no longer sleep! (I get up with the kids 99% of the time, so I'v earned that one) I occasionaly pack him a lunch, only if we have leftovers from dinner & I put in some tupperware right then, and he LOVES to iron, so he does ALL the ironing in our house. I just bought him a nice new ironing board, and lot's of starch--and he really does love it! I know there are a lot of areas Mike wishes I'd improve on, like making the bed--but I think he knows I am trying --and that it the best I can do at this "season of my life." AS we are in just about the same season--HOORAY for you Tiff! Woman have been struggling for hundreds of years to get out of making breakfast, and packing lunches!! ;) And you are one up on a lot of us in the mornings--running!! Super long comment--love ya!
PS
I have to say that I love that you guys have companionship inventory. I never really thought of that past mission. I hope yours go more successfully than some of my mission ones :)
i am laughing out loud, you guys are so funny. Tiff I do have to say I make Brad's lunch pretty much every morning and it is hard getting out of bed to do that, but man I don't do any breakfast or ironing! He fares for himself on that one. Love this post!!!
Sorry babe, I'm on Mike with this one. You know I'm always the one telling you to slow down, but sweetie, you can pack his lunch the night before! As far as breakfast . . . you could always pour the ceral in a bowl and put it on the table when you go to bed! Just kidding, Mike, you can handle that, have you ever heard of instant oatmeal! They even have flavors and cream of wheat too!!!
this just goes to show that even the most perfect couples disagree and life is all about figuring out how to live with each other because we can't live without each other. Mike, you are not a terrible man. this is tiff's blog so of course it is biased. and just as "make me breakfast" was the first thing that came to Mike's mind, "do it yourself" was the first thing that came to Tiff's mind. I have a feeling that in a couple days, Tiff, that you will make him a lunch (if you haven't already) because that is the kind of couple you are. You guys have funny quirks (and thanks for blogging them so the rest of us could be entertained) but it comes down to the fact that you two love and support each other in everything. I do have to say that more is expected of Women than ever before and it is easy to get overwhelmed and underappreciated. I am sure Men feel that way too. But I am sure Mike will think twice about comparing wife to Mom in the future, or about saying the word "tradtional". There is no such thing these days!
love you both.
Tristie
Oh my gosh, this is HYSTERICAL! I don't do a dang thing for Josh and I'm not afraid to admit it. I barely even make dinner most days. In fact, he makes me breakfast every morning.
I would like to thank Courtney for the detailed instructions on how to make a sandwich. I'll for sure make Josh's lunch now that I know how! LOL!
My husband lives on frozen dinners. I'm not sure he could even tell you the last time that I made breakfast, lunch or dinner for him. He's pretty much on his own but he still loves me. I'm far from "traditional," but I wish I had more time to be.
I love this banter, it's such dangerous territory I love it. To sound all cool first of all I will point out that I am typing this with Greydon sleeping on my chest.... and I slept for a couple of hours early last night and then stayed up all night so Kristen could sleep all night. Now that that is over with, let's get real. I am a horrible husband. I do so little around the house it's ridiculous. If I ever were to suggest that Kristen do more for me I would first hold my hand in front of my groin for protection and lock the doors so she couldn't run away screaming.
I'm going through fits right now because we just had our first little one and Kristen just HAD to go back to work. She never thought she would mind, until the time came.
Both genders have so much pressure placed on them to perform their stereotypical roles.
I iron my own shirts when I can't handle the wrinkled look, mainly because I care too much about the exact order you iron parts of the shirt.
I don't like sack lunches. In school the rich kids bought school lunch, I was never that kid. So yes, I am still working through that apparently. Usually on special occasions K will make me a lunch to be cute, there's usually a note too. And yes, I do feel especially loved on those days. Kristen hates cooking, I always feel so loved when she does it anyway. My days often start around 4am, so no breakfast there, but Saturdays often includes her whipping out something lovely.
I love everything that K does for me. Of course a husband appreciates when that includes the thought that has to go into a prepared meal. It means that she is thinking of us, what our day is going to be, what we might need and what we might like. There is no greater compliment than that. It isn't because we can't feed ourselves, it just means that you took time out of your ridiculous schedule to worry about us that much more.
I love the fact that guys have been commenting,
You go men.
Thank you ladies, without you we would never know anyone cared.
I like the idea of a relationship inventory, even if I don't think I care for the process. At least you guys have open communication. Something I can always work on.
Ok, so I had a big fat mouthful to say about the "traditional" wife and her "role" in the home and how that pertains to me, but after Calvin's comment I will take a slice of humble pie, shut my mouth and thank Heavenly Father for what I have.
P.S. Calvin is loading the dishwasher
Had to after these blogs!
Love your thought cb2! I couldn't agree more!
K- I am curious about your big mouthful though :)
Can I just say how much of a cord you must have struck with everyone--my comment here makes 30!! Popular lady.
Okay, As far as making Brendan's breakfast goes. I do make it, by going to the store and buying his raisin bran. I always make extra dinner and that is what He takes as His lunch the next day. I do iron His sunday shirts and that is only because his way of ironing is throwing it in the dryer. Tiffany, are you so proud of me for adding more to my blog?
Okay...Koki usually gets breakfast from me because I am already making it for the boys and he'll come down with puppy dog eyes and look in the kitchen from the scraps. lol.
I actually pack Koki the dinner leftovers for his lunch like Ruth. But in all honesty I do it more comes I'm as cheap as you can get and if I'm not going out to eat lunch everyday than neither is he ;)
What's with our mom's and ironing. My mom always comments that I should iron my husbands shirt for church. In which I ALWAYS reply, " He's a big boy he can do it!"
Your Husband's name is Koki? Let's start with that...
Ha that is funny. I cook sometimes and I never iron but Justin is typically on his own for most meals. Actually since I work he does the laundry and cooks most of the dinners. I guess we fall in the non traditional side. I agree with your big boy comment and true true on never comparing wife to mom. that is funny.
well....mister mike....sorry but if my dear sweet Thadeus ever compared me to his mother, or any other women for that matter he would be a dead man. And i cant remember if he ever has dared to do "it". If he ever did, I would stop doing everything that i do for him every day, so he could see how much i really do. i know im not a perfect wife but i grew up with 5 very shovenistic men and i have issues with the "traditional" wife expectancies. i do what i can and feel like is deserved i guess. i dont do breakfast. in fact every saturday if thad dosent work, he makes breakfast for us. i cook dinner 4 or 5 nights a week and that is good enough for him. bless him he never complains.
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